Retired, 42 Years Old and Pregnant: The 1st Trimester
In my last blog, over two months ago, I talked briefly about where I had been and what I have been up to, with every intention on regaining momentum specific to writing more. My plan was (and still is) to focus my blogs on two major areas: my pregnancy and post-partum journey and topics specific to you – professional women who juggle too much and helping you find balance and joy. Well here I am, yet again, a few months later and I honestly don’t know where the time has gone. In the blink of an eye, I went from entering my second trimester, feeling great, and ready to share my journey, to almost 30 weeks pregnant, in my third trimester, and starting to freak out a bit that this baby will be here in two months! But there is no better time than the present to catch you up on my journey so far and keep you updated going forward. Here we go…
It seems like so long ago that we found out I was pregnant. As a matter of fact, it was Monday, May 21st. We were still living in North Carolina, Eddie was finishing up the 4thgrade, and the movers were coming two days later to begin packing our house and moving us to Texas. I woke up that morning and just knew I was pregnant. My cycle was only a few days late, but I was very in tune with my body and swore that I was feeling the physical signs of being pregnant. I had a few appointments that day but the first chance I got, I went to the store, bought a test and took it immediately. Sure enough, “pregnant” was displayed clear as crystal on the screen and a ton of emotions took over me all at once. Of course, I had to go back to the store and purchase several more tests just to be sure. After all three told me I was “pregnant”, I decided that it must be true.
When I say that a ton of emotions took over me at once, I am being completely honest. I was happy and excited but also scared to death. Happy and excited because there was nothing I wanted more than to have a baby with my husband, Omari. I knew he would be over the moon ecstatic and I was too. I was scared to death for several reasons. First of all, because we had experienced two miscarriages about 1 ½ to 2 years prior. I felt like the chances of this pregnancy resulting in a miscarriage were likely based on the last two experiences and I was petrified to go through that again. Quite a bit of time had passed and, to be honest, at this point, I didn’t think I was ever going to get pregnant again. It just didn’t seem to be in the cards for us. And I think we both accepted that. Couple that with the fact we were moving in a few days and I wouldn’t be able to see a doctor before arriving in Texas made my fear even greater. On one hand I wanted to share with the world that we were expecting a baby, but I knew better. I was also scared because I’m no spring chicken. I’m 42 years old, and although I’m pretty healthy and take good care of myself, I had been convinced by “statistics” and other people’s input that having a baby at my age just wasn’t meant to be. But there I was, staring at three positive pregnancy tests and I immediately decided that I was going to do everything I could to be positive and grateful for this opportunity. That evening when Omari came home, I shared the news with him and together we were happy, yet cautious. We decided to keep the news to ourselves (although I did share with one of my sisters and a dear friend) until I was able to see a doctor and assess which direction things would go.
Of course, over the next many weeks, I didn’t have a whole lot of time to think too much into what could go wrong with this pregnancy. We had our house packed up, Eddie finished school, we loaded up two trailers (each of us pulled one behind our vehicle) and drove across the country to Texas. We were warmly greeted with triple digit temperatures, our new home and a few days later received the delivery from the moving company. Omari went to work right away, and I was slapped in the face with a fatigue I was not prepared for and a horrible nauseousness and loss of appetite that I was unfamiliar with (never experienced that with my first two kids). Of course, we eventually got things unpacked and settled but it most definitely wasn’t at the pace either of us had imagined. Looking back now, I wish I had given myself a bit more grace instead of putting unnecessary pressure on myself to get things done in record time like I usually did when moving. I have definitely learned from that and have worked very hard the last several months to be more kind to myself when juggling all life is throwing my way. After all, isn’t that exactly what I work with my clients on? Finding balance and joy. It sure is! And the last thing I want to be is a hypocrite coach…so I decided to practice what I preach and to work with and coach myself along the way.
In mid-June, I was able to get in to see the doctor and it was confirmed that I was still pregnant. This made us so very happy! Very quickly, I was referred to the Women’s Health clinic to see a doctor. During the initial appointment, we discussed my health history, to include previous miscarriages and pregnancies, my age and my history of gestational diabetes (with Eddie). Just one of those things would classify me as “high risk” so apparently I was being an overachiever since I had several of them! We were also given an ultrasound and were able to see baby and hear her heart beat. At that moment, everything became so real and I knew in my heart it was meant to be. We were having a baby!
In an effort to stay positive and focused on the right things for both me and baby, I quickly decided that I was going to focus on a few specific things to ensure many of the habits I had worked so hard to create and maintain did not fall by the wayside. They were (are) sleep, nutrition, exercise and mindfulness. And if you have been with me since I began my life coaching journey, then you know these are what I refer to as the four components to building (and maintaining) a balanced YOU! (Click here to check out the first time I began discussing these building blocks with my audience during one of my previous Facebook live events.) I knew that focusing on these four areas wouldn’t be (or at least shouldn’t be) super hard since I had made each of them a priority in my life for quite some time already. Not to mention, doing so would greatly benefit both me AND baby.
Before I knew it, the first trimester came to a close, all of our family and closest friends knew about our bundle of joy and I was ready to share with the world of social media! Check out the picture that I used to announce I was pregnant. It’s kind of funny because back then, I felt like I was “so big” already!
So there you have it in a nutshell…my first trimester of pregnancy with Baby Ballou. So much has happened since then and I look forward to bringing you up to speed in the coming days. Until the next blog, which will focus on my second trimester, please feel free to comment and/or send me your questions about any and everything you are curious about or want me to share in the next one. Until then…
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